The truth is we build relationships upon our fragile emotions, the strongest of which is trust. When this becomes compromised everything seems to fall apart. One can find comfort in knowing that everyone has experienced the reverberations of lost trust at some point in their lives. This is by no means to say that it is easy to overcome. On the contrary, it is extremely painful and makes us scared to trust again. Once our trust has been broken, we are full of questions that need to be answered, such as "Who can I trust?" and "How do I know I can trust them?" Trust is the foundation of relationships and life. In order to find peace and happiness, we must learn how to move on and trust again. Here are a few tips on how to trust again.
Have to Trust Again
1. Trust Yourself
When someone breaks your trust, you also lose trust in yourself. It is important that you learn to trust yourself again. Your intuition always tells you the truth, it never lies.
It is your intuition that lets you know if someone is telling you the truth or lying. You need to learn to trust yourself and listen to that inner voice in order to feel safe in your relationships. The tough part is learning the difference between intuition and fear. You need to listen to and trust the quieter, honest voice that is your intuition.
2. Forget and Move Forward
If you want to know how to trust again, you have to forget the past and move on. It is important that you separate your past from your future. You need to place the blame for the pain where it belongs. Improve your future by reminding yourself that the new people in your life did not cause you the pain. You also need to make sure that you keep in mind that not everyone will break your trust just because one person in your past did. You need to let the past go, stop blaming yourself and open your heart to others
3. Don't Try to Make Sense of It
There is absolutely no way to make sense out of something that is senseless. Stop sitting around trying to figure out why because you will never find the answer. Trying to figure out the reason why someone hurt you is only going to keep you in the pain. People act upon their own accord and there is nothing you can do about it. It is necessary for you to realize that what they did does not have anything to do with you. It will be of great benefit to you to know that how you think and feel determines how you let others treat you.
4. Don't Suppress Your Emotion
Allow yourself to be emotional. You have just been betrayed by someone you cared deeply about and thought cared deeply about you. A large part of the healing process is letting those emotions out. Sit down and write in a journal or write a letter to the person who hurt you to share all of your feelings. Once you have written the letter, put it away until you are ready to read it again. Let your emotions out; let yourself be angry, disappointed and cry.
5. Seek Support from the Close Ones
Discover the support from those closest to you. Confide in your mom, sister, or best friend. Share all your feelings and thoughts with them. Let them know how you feel. Now is the time to cry on their shoulder and allow them to support you.
6. Find a Role Model
When your relationship is broken you may begin to feel jealous of others and their relationships. It is time to look at those relationships you are jealous of in a different light. Look at those healthy and successful relationships as guides for you. Let the people in those relationships help you realize that relationships really do work so that you can stop living in your negativity and start living in happiness.
7. Accept Others' Advice
How to trust again? Don't keep everything to yourself and open to others' suggestions. Find a therapy group of people going through the same relationship struggles as you. You will be able to share your emotions and thoughts with them and get their understanding support. It also helps to find a professional counselor to help you through this time in your life. They are nonjudgmental and will allow you to get everything out in the open so that you can begin to heal.
8. Enjoy Me Time
It is quite enjoyable to be in a relationship where you feel safe and loved, but an untrusting relationship can be really harmful. So it is a good idea to take some time to be by yourself. Enjoy time alone allows you to do the things you love such as reading a good book or going to the spa. However, make sure that you do not alienate yourself from those who love and support you. To help rebuild your inner trust you need to find the balance between alone time and the time spent with others.
9. Take Time to Heal
Ultimately the loss of trust is a grieving process. You need to allow yourself time to heal through each of the 5 stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You want to remain authentic and honest with yourself through each of these stages. If you find yourself seriously struggling with any of the stages, it is okay to seek professional help.
The healing process will take some time, so slowly build new relationships with patience. Give yourself time to open up to this new person. Begin by showing a little of yourself and if you see that they are respecting and honoring you, then show a little bit more making yourself a bit more vulnerable. Gradually, you will trust again.
10. Communicate with Open Heart
Now that you are building a new relationship, it is time for you to honestly communicate your fears and concerns. After all, to solve the question how to trust again, both parties need make actual and sincere actions. The feeling of connectedness within a relationship makes it easier to have trust. So allow yourself to openly discuss how scared you are to completely open yourself to them. As you share your reluctance remember that it is unfair to dump all your baggage on the new person. Remember that this is a completely different person who is trying to earn your trust. As you open up to them you may find that they are more willing to open up to you as well.
11. Affirm the Possibility of Trust Again
Trust is the foundation of human relationships, without trust you cannot have a relationship. When you hold onto the belief that you can never regain trust, your new relationships will suffer. You will constantly think the other person will betray you and they will constantly resent you for not trusting them. By meditating you are able to change your beliefs. Use the following affirmation when you meditate:
“I am open to trusting my intuition. I am open to trusting my heart. I am open to trusting another person.”
You will find the more you repeat the affirmation with your heart full of love and pure intention, the better you will feel. The more you repeat the affirmation, the more quickly you will begin to truly believe in trust again.
Watch this short interview video to know more about how to trust again after someone lies to you: